Wednesday, August 10, 2011
A wonderful day!
It has been a wonderful day with Mom! She has been alert enough to hang out in the recliner morning and afternoon! And she is really listening to conversations I have, interjecting laughs and smiles at appropriate times. It is a good day. ; )
Bouncing back ...
So yesterday I hit a rough patch because Mom was having such a hard time. It seemed the sky was falling. So I post to the blog about the dire situation and then go get Mom up and lo and behold what do I see? A big old smile on her face, clear eyes and alert. So if you read that post before I deleted it disregard. I would say that Mom is between Stage 6 and Stage 7 as shown on alz.org which is not great but it is LOTS better! Looking forward to seeing what today brings ...
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
This is hard ...
This is hard! Not because of the tasks involved but the learning curve. Mom's whole composition is so different now and so fragile. My learning process has been reactive instead of proactive and that is hard. Every time I think I am getting it figured out ... never mind I am not. When an elderly person gets sick it is not just a matter of getting well because every little thing affects them long term really. They lose a little bit more that they do not get back.
I really expected Mom to do better here but because of the UTI that coincided with her move she has really deteriorated. In my head I know that it was just timing but in my heart it is easy to fall into this place where I feel like despite all of my best laid plans, attention, and intention her life really sucks now. My only hope and prayer now is that when she finishes this new round of antibiotic she will bounce back and be at least some semblance of her old self.
I really expected Mom to do better here but because of the UTI that coincided with her move she has really deteriorated. In my head I know that it was just timing but in my heart it is easy to fall into this place where I feel like despite all of my best laid plans, attention, and intention her life really sucks now. My only hope and prayer now is that when she finishes this new round of antibiotic she will bounce back and be at least some semblance of her old self.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Arrange the pieces that come your way ...
Arrange the pieces that come your way - Virginia Woolf. I love this quote. I think Virginia was probably talking about things like when my nephew had an accident and ended up in a wheelchair and my older sister, headed down a path of her own, just moved right on to what was to be her new path, taking care of Donnie. She had her pieces arranged and then so calmly (I mean she seemed calm to me) added the new pieces to her existing pieces and rearranged. I was always impressed by that!
Well I had a situation today that kind of falls into that quote though not as impressive as Laverne's situation. My pieces were Mom's bed, her wheelchair, the hoyer blanket, the hoyer and the shower chair. So the plan is that when Louis works he gets her out of bed to the wheelchair w/ the hoyer blanket in it in the morning. Then I can use the hoyer to get her back in bed for nap and out again. Oh it was not problem getting her in the bed but when it came time to get her out ... that is another story. When I set her down in the chair she looked more like she was the long side of a right triangle, her bottom half on the chair and half off. I tried using the hoyer blanket from behind the chair to pull her up but since her legs were slanted down it was too much for me, having to pull her up and back, she was not moving.
Ugggghhhh ... were we just going to have to have another one of those sing-a-longs until Louis was available? I thought surely I can figure out something and I did! I got the shower chair and put it in front of her and put her legs on it so her legs were horizontal, I was then able to pull her back to a position where she was more like the 2 shorter sides of the triangle. ; ) Mom and I were so proud! Really I think she could not have cared less but anyway I arranged the pieces that came my way so as to make the situation work, right? I am pretty good at that and I know I got that from my Dad. Louis is always in awe of my ability to figure out something to make what ever it is I am doing work. It may not always be the most ideal way but it always works. Now when he is around I tend to lean more heavily on him because it is nice to get a break from my ingenius ideas.
I cannot underestimate how fragile an elderly person's skin is. If you are ever taking care of someone older be very cognizant of that. Feet on pillows in bed so that their heels do not touch the bed. Good tight fighting sheets, those made with cotton t-shirt type material are best. Try to limit the wrinkles and folds in their clothes that are between their skin and the sheets. Put a smooth folded sheet between the bedpad and the sheet on the bed to use to move them on the bed. It takes 2 people but each take a side, grab the sheet and 123 pull!
Mom is feeling better, I was actually thankful for her jabbering because I knew she was getting to be her old self. I am thinking though she does not have to do it anymore, I am convinced! ; ) But she is moody and if I am extra tired or hormonal it is hard not to take it personal. I am worried sometimes she is moving to the stage where she forgets how to swallow. She chews forever, I often have to coax her to swallow. I ask her, "Did your Mother tell you to chew each bite 100 times?", that usually always gets a smile from her. If she loses the ability to swallow I think it would be a bad thing because I would never do a feeding tube.
Well I had a situation today that kind of falls into that quote though not as impressive as Laverne's situation. My pieces were Mom's bed, her wheelchair, the hoyer blanket, the hoyer and the shower chair. So the plan is that when Louis works he gets her out of bed to the wheelchair w/ the hoyer blanket in it in the morning. Then I can use the hoyer to get her back in bed for nap and out again. Oh it was not problem getting her in the bed but when it came time to get her out ... that is another story. When I set her down in the chair she looked more like she was the long side of a right triangle, her bottom half on the chair and half off. I tried using the hoyer blanket from behind the chair to pull her up but since her legs were slanted down it was too much for me, having to pull her up and back, she was not moving.
Ugggghhhh ... were we just going to have to have another one of those sing-a-longs until Louis was available? I thought surely I can figure out something and I did! I got the shower chair and put it in front of her and put her legs on it so her legs were horizontal, I was then able to pull her back to a position where she was more like the 2 shorter sides of the triangle. ; ) Mom and I were so proud! Really I think she could not have cared less but anyway I arranged the pieces that came my way so as to make the situation work, right? I am pretty good at that and I know I got that from my Dad. Louis is always in awe of my ability to figure out something to make what ever it is I am doing work. It may not always be the most ideal way but it always works. Now when he is around I tend to lean more heavily on him because it is nice to get a break from my ingenius ideas.
I cannot underestimate how fragile an elderly person's skin is. If you are ever taking care of someone older be very cognizant of that. Feet on pillows in bed so that their heels do not touch the bed. Good tight fighting sheets, those made with cotton t-shirt type material are best. Try to limit the wrinkles and folds in their clothes that are between their skin and the sheets. Put a smooth folded sheet between the bedpad and the sheet on the bed to use to move them on the bed. It takes 2 people but each take a side, grab the sheet and 123 pull!
Mom is feeling better, I was actually thankful for her jabbering because I knew she was getting to be her old self. I am thinking though she does not have to do it anymore, I am convinced! ; ) But she is moody and if I am extra tired or hormonal it is hard not to take it personal. I am worried sometimes she is moving to the stage where she forgets how to swallow. She chews forever, I often have to coax her to swallow. I ask her, "Did your Mother tell you to chew each bite 100 times?", that usually always gets a smile from her. If she loses the ability to swallow I think it would be a bad thing because I would never do a feeding tube.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Home Health ... the key.
The nurse came today. We use All Star Home Health and so far we are very pleased with them. They are attentive, usually quick to show up when needed and they seem to take things serious and are not flippant about things I am concerned about. Except for yesterday afternoon the nurse was supposed to come and no showed. Apparently she got lost and her phone lost charge so she could not call me. That was okay but one thing I am learning is to not plan Mom's day around appt. times. I am going to always keep to my schedule and when someone shows up Mom and I will fit them in! Hmmmm so keep in mind, the next time you are sitting and waaaaaaiiiiiting in a dr's office, that there may come a time you are on Home Health and you will get to keep them waiting!!
She has a friction sore on her heel. So once again a live and learn for me. ;( As people get older their skin is so thin making it so vulnerable. From now on Mom's feet on a pillow so heels do not touch the mattress, no canvas tennis shoes and making sure her feet are up high enough when pushing her in the wheelchair. She has the steps for her feet but she tends to take her feet off of them (without asking) which is why she has a scrape on her other leg that bled terribly even though it was only a very minor scrape.
As for the UTI she is so much better today! If you ever notice an elderly person going through a sharp decline suddenly, think UTI! She smiled at me when I woke her up, ate good, gave treats to the pups ... well kinda, I put the treat in her hand then pulled the pups over to her hand to get it. She still seemed to like it, feeling as though she did it.
She has a friction sore on her heel. So once again a live and learn for me. ;( As people get older their skin is so thin making it so vulnerable. From now on Mom's feet on a pillow so heels do not touch the mattress, no canvas tennis shoes and making sure her feet are up high enough when pushing her in the wheelchair. She has the steps for her feet but she tends to take her feet off of them (without asking) which is why she has a scrape on her other leg that bled terribly even though it was only a very minor scrape.
As for the UTI she is so much better today! If you ever notice an elderly person going through a sharp decline suddenly, think UTI! She smiled at me when I woke her up, ate good, gave treats to the pups ... well kinda, I put the treat in her hand then pulled the pups over to her hand to get it. She still seemed to like it, feeling as though she did it.
My Revelation
I am starting on a new schedule this week because I feel like to do what is important to me I need to get up early. So I get up before daylight to do my pilates, stuff around the house and then when the sun starts coming up I can get most of my watering done outside. When I finish that is when Mom gets up and we have breakfast and she can sit outside with me to finish the watering. It seems when this is the way my day starts the rest of the day just works.
I watched a National Geographic program about studies on baboons regarding stress and so this morning I had a revelation. What I am doing now with Mom does NOT cause me stress ... what causes me stress is everyone telling me how stressed I must be and what I need to do to avoid stress. Talking about stress causes stress! Is taking care of people in Mom's shape my calling? No, I do not think so but I do feel good when I care for Mom and I believe the best stress reliever is giving of yourself. I am not perfect though ... I do have moments where Mom frustrates me and I have to leave the room or redirect my attention. And I am cognizant of making sure I take care of me too. So I was thinking, my life has not changed that much with Mom here except to put more structure in it which I think is the way I function the best anyway. I have never been one to feel the need to go places or get out of the house. I have always been quite content puttering around my house, working on projects. Everybody says, oh you need to make sure you get out, hire respite care. And I am sitting there this AM trying to figure that into my new life and I realize why would I do that now when I never did go, go, go? Louis said the good thing about the new structure is we are more inclined to take advantage of our opportunities for date nights when the girls are here to sit with Mom instead of always putting it off.
And then I had another revelation, I do not think I have ever had real stress in my life for a long time because of my faith and it reminds me that I just do not know how people live happy lives without faith in God and a belief in Jesus. If I had to carry the weight of my life on my shoulders it would suck. It is so nice to be able to Let go and Let God. I believe that if I get up every day, put one foot in front of the other, work hard, do my best to do as Jesus would do, God will work everything out in a way that is best for me. I may not always understand His plan but I always believe He has a plan and it is a good one. So no I do not have stress because I believe God has me where He wants me and that is good enough for me.
I watched a National Geographic program about studies on baboons regarding stress and so this morning I had a revelation. What I am doing now with Mom does NOT cause me stress ... what causes me stress is everyone telling me how stressed I must be and what I need to do to avoid stress. Talking about stress causes stress! Is taking care of people in Mom's shape my calling? No, I do not think so but I do feel good when I care for Mom and I believe the best stress reliever is giving of yourself. I am not perfect though ... I do have moments where Mom frustrates me and I have to leave the room or redirect my attention. And I am cognizant of making sure I take care of me too. So I was thinking, my life has not changed that much with Mom here except to put more structure in it which I think is the way I function the best anyway. I have never been one to feel the need to go places or get out of the house. I have always been quite content puttering around my house, working on projects. Everybody says, oh you need to make sure you get out, hire respite care. And I am sitting there this AM trying to figure that into my new life and I realize why would I do that now when I never did go, go, go? Louis said the good thing about the new structure is we are more inclined to take advantage of our opportunities for date nights when the girls are here to sit with Mom instead of always putting it off.
And then I had another revelation, I do not think I have ever had real stress in my life for a long time because of my faith and it reminds me that I just do not know how people live happy lives without faith in God and a belief in Jesus. If I had to carry the weight of my life on my shoulders it would suck. It is so nice to be able to Let go and Let God. I believe that if I get up every day, put one foot in front of the other, work hard, do my best to do as Jesus would do, God will work everything out in a way that is best for me. I may not always understand His plan but I always believe He has a plan and it is a good one. So no I do not have stress because I believe God has me where He wants me and that is good enough for me.
UTI, etc.
Mom has been on a decline which at first I attributed to the change of living arrangements but had them test for a UTI since they are so detrimental to the elderly. Yesterday she was so out of it it was scary. Finally got the antibiotic at 230pm and gave it to her. By the evening she was noticeably better! I cannot wait until tonight after a 2nd dose to see even more improvement.
Last night though I did notice also that her eye has gunk in it so when the nurse comes in the AM to check out her sore on her heel I will ask her about that! Geez Louise, I told Mom that I guess she is finally getting too old ... she is just falling apart! ; )
On a more serious note though I do have moments where I feel to blame for moving her and putting this stress on her but I quickly banish that. Then I think maybe her playing the guinea pig to my learning process is not fair to her but then I banish that thought because the alternative is out of the question!
Last night though I did notice also that her eye has gunk in it so when the nurse comes in the AM to check out her sore on her heel I will ask her about that! Geez Louise, I told Mom that I guess she is finally getting too old ... she is just falling apart! ; )
On a more serious note though I do have moments where I feel to blame for moving her and putting this stress on her but I quickly banish that. Then I think maybe her playing the guinea pig to my learning process is not fair to her but then I banish that thought because the alternative is out of the question!
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