Mom's Eulogy

Mom's Eulogy written by her Granddaughter (my niece) Dana and read by her daughter (my sister) Laverne.

sugar

veg oil

vanilla

lemon extract

eggs

flour

Mix wet ingredients. Add dry. Drop heaping tsp of batter on ungreased cooking sheet. Flatten with buttered bottom of small glass dipped in sugar. Bake 400 degress 8-10 min “Watch ‘em so they don’t burn”

Who didn’t love Grandmother’s cooking? Her sugar cookies are a legacy themselves. It’s amazing when looking through all the memories sent in by Grandmother’s children, grandchildren, cousin’s and friends, how many of us talked about her special cooking. In my house when I cook something that tastes really good, I say, “You know why it’s so good? Because I put LOVE in it.”

Grandmother was not the touchy feeling kind of grandmother, she didn’t give big hugs or constantly tell you how much she loved you, but she LOVED you and we felt it in many ways. Her cooking, her sewing, her story telling, her community involvement, and her presence all evoked the essence of her love and the importance of family and heritage. I remember her tours of Matador and Whiteflat, making sure we knew our Texas roots.

I loved her cheesecake so much she made me one for my 10th birthday. And I loved that she always loved and welcomed my Dad, Don Wittler, even though he and Mom were divorced.

Her love for her oldest son, Ray, is elicited in his memories of their weekly phone calls after the family moved back to the Texas where Grandmother grew up. They would discuss hopes and dreams, problems and solutions.

Steve values how supportive Grandmother was regardless of what latest idea he was sharing, whatever adventure he was planning to embark upon. He never felt that she ever had anything less than total belief in him. He appreciated that she never smothered him with over protectiveness, giving him great freedom to explore his the neighborhood at a young age, even if it meant letting him wander for hours, through woods, across creeks, the shores of ponds and lakes, stores and shopping centers.

Lamar knew Grandmother loved him when she forgot his birthday and then apologized profusely the next day. And as a school bus driver he is reminded of her tone of voice that commanded respect when he finds himself speaking in that same tone on the school bus.

Over the years Beverly has collected particular philosophies of Grandmother.

On kids: “Never say no unless it is morally wrong or will do physical harm.”

On serenity: “They cannot get your goat if you do not tell them where it is tied.”

On integrity: “If you cannot say anything nice do not say anything at all.”

On life: “Live and let live.”

Grandmother showed her love for Julian by letting him rock out in the basement during his high school years! When Julian wanted to play in the Foose Ball Tournament in Lubbock, Dad said no. Julian pleaded his case; always coming home on time, doing chores. Dad said no. Julian retaliated. If I can’t play in the tournament, I’m not playing football and went to his room. Moments later Mom tells him Dad had decided he could play in the tournament. In first grade she walked him to the corner, then waited till he crossed the street and walked inside the building. On one such day after Christmas and Julian lost his brand new scarf, they walked up and down the street looking for it.

As a child, in awe of my teenage Aunt Bunni, I was able to witness Grandmother’s love graced upon her in many ways. The one that stands out the most is the puffy quilt she made for her college dorm. The fabric selected for the quilt represented many of the outfits she had made for Bunni during her grade school and high school years. Bunni and her children also loved Grandmother’s cookies, macaroni and cheese and her Galumpki.

How awesome is it that our Grandmother made Galumpki one of her signature meals. Our family ancestry was so important for her that she made sure we knew our heritage on both the Texas side and the Polish side.

Grandmother loved all of her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Some of us were fortunate enough to know her more because we lived in Texas. Others received her love through baby quilts, special embroidered napkins, pillowcases or table cloths; through family recipes and stories passed down by our parents; or through the philosophies instilled in her own children and passed down to us.

The following memories of Grandmother from her grandchildren reflect this love.

Danielle said “Every time I make grilled cheese I think of her making it extra good by putting a tin can on to melt the cheese and give it a nice crispy ring on the white bread. I also learned my sweeping the floor techniques from her. And , I remember the pageant dress she made for me which had a cowgirl look to it.”

Donnie recalled, “I remember her always cooking, sewing or baking those famous sugar cookies. I’ve never had any others that can compete with hers.”

DJ remembers most her home. “Year end and year out it was always the center of the universe in Roaring Springs. Everything revolved around that house in where she kept her family tight, close knit and in communication. It was tidy and warm and never changed. It was home base for the Zabielski’s.”

Jennifer also remembers Grandmother’s house, so homey. “I felt like nothing in the world could be wrong. I felt safe. I remember her having toast with butter waiting on me when I woke up. I remember in her eyes that I could do no wrong.”

Stevie Lynn said, “Grandma Grace was a strong and beautiful woman who truly had a graceful presence. She had a lovely smile that would light up the room.

Megan remembers that Grandmother was the epitome of class and style. “She dressed well, carried herself well, and you listened when she spoke.”

Our cousin, Lamar Tilson writes that she was his favorite aunt, a gentle soul. He loved visiting her home. It was so peaceful.”

And finally, my brother Johnny shares from Ecclesiastes 3. For everything there is an appointed time, even a time for every affair under the heavens: a time for birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted; a time to weep and a time to laugh; . . . what advantage is there for the doer in what he/she is working at? . . . I have come to know that there is nothing better for them then to rejoice and to do good during one’s life; and also that every man/woman should eat and indeed drink and see good for all his/her hard work. It is the gift of God. Johnny adds, “My point in quoting these verses is what is mentioned in the last sentence. It is the gift of God. I did not know Grandmother that well but I do know all of the amazing people that she raised on this earth and I see all the good for her hard work. She has raised an amazing family and I am sure it was not easy, but worth every bit of work, and this is the gift of God that was given to all of us through Grandmother. You are all beautiful people and reflect the amazing qualities of Grace Laverne Tilson Zabielski.