Snoring? Yea, that works!

Mom had a big decline this weekend. Things just did not seem right on Friday, so much so that I cancelled her shower because I was afraid of trying to get her very "out of it" self into the shower chair. Then Saturday morning she was very congested ... it seemed like it must be very hard to breathe but really she did not seem to be too bothered by it. The hospice nurse was concerned but also said it was an expected part of the process. She had a name for it but just saying it makes tears well up in my eyes so I will call it snoring. Actually there is a story behind that ... calling it snoring.

I gave the family an update as to her status which included calling Jennifer and of course, even though I told her she did not have to, she wanted to come see Grandma. And of course that meant explaining to the kids why they were going back to Ft. Worth again, not that they were complaining but they had just been. Well Matthew is the one that HAS to fully understand everything ... there is no glazing over things with him. So when Jennifer talks about Grandma Grace not doing well he starts to quiz her about what happens when Grandma Grace dies. Jennifer says "Matthew, don't say dies, say passes away". He says, "Okay". There is a period of silence and Jennifer says she can tell Matthew is really pondering the whole concept. Finally he says, "So when Grandma Grace passes out then what happens?" Passes out ... out of the mouths of babes, right?

When they get to our house Matthew comes to Grandma Grace's door with such trepidation. I look up at him from her bed and feel immediate panic. How do you handle this situation? I know with kids this is such a scary thing. Have you ever noticed how kids are often a little afraid of the elderly. Is it that they look different or is it that the elderly represent end of life and dying? They seem to be a little afraid of getting too close, as if they are afraid they might end up on the slippery slope with the elderly person and "die" too. How do I make this process more palatable to a 9 yr old?

Matthew is not sure what to do, do I walk over there? Do I turn around and leave? I say, "Come on over here, Grandma Grace and I were just talking about all of the people she is going to see in Heaven ... Grandpa Ray, her Mom and Dad, her brothers and sisters" ... He off handedly acknowledges what I am saying but I can tell he seems most concerned about her breathing. I say, "I know, she snores very loud huh? It is hard for me to take a nap with her because she snores so loud." He smiles and says, "Yea!" and leaves. Most importantly I think he is okay with the process for now.

Saturday we ended up with Julian and Shari, Bunni and Jamie, Megan, Jennifer and the kids, all here to see Mom. It was a great day ... Mom is still bringing the family together whether she realizes it or not! ; )

FYI, Mom is on oxygen now so her room has the steady hum of the oxygen machine ... feels so "hospital-ly". I thought about saying no because it seemed unnatural but it does make Mom more comfortable ... and that is my goal, to make her comfortable.