A Soldier, my dad, Somewhere in the mountains of India, 1944
Laverne:
There is the experience, the memory and then there is a photograph. How much we get to know about someone seems to be based on many factors. Even though there are seven children in my family and all raised by the same parents, my father and mother, as naive, young, first time parents were totally different people when it was time to raise my younger siblings 17 years later. Or were they? Does the essence of who we are persevere?
Me: I am thinking about what Laverne wrote above and I think Mom and Dad were different with the "second family" in that they were more seasoned. The first family toughened them up and so consequently made them more laid back. I think after they "survived" all of the mishaps of the first four kids they realized, "Okay so that was not so bad, we survived and we came out on the other side pretty much unscathed, I can't believe we were worried" So with us they already knew what the other side looked like and so it was not looming out there. I always appreciated my older siblings for training them for us!
I do think the core values they had were the same from beginning to end though like: work smart not hard; if you cannot say anything nice do not say anything at all; they cannot get your goat if you do not tell them where it is tied; give yourself enough time so you are not late; if God had wanted holes in your ears he would have put them there; if it is not morally wrong and does not do physical harm do not say no to your kids. Mom said that way they will trust you and so when you do find it necessary to say no they will listen. Mom tells a story of how she was just a very little girl and she was walking the path from the house to the barn. Her Mother looked out the kitchen window and saw a rattlesnake right in front of her in the path. Grandmother yelled, "Grace Laverne Tilson you stop right where you are!" Because my Grandmother was not the type to rattle off "No" at the drop of a hat without good reason my Mother respected her and knew she always had her best interests at heart ... so she stopped dead in her tracks She did not move until Granddaddy came and killed the snake. I am willing to bet there are many young kids these days that would have gotten bit by that snake. It seems sometimes Mom and Dad raised us right with wise one-liners more than lectures or because I said so stuff!
Dads letter to Mom:
July 27, 1944
Somewhere in India
Dearest Grace,
Good morning honey. I just got up and ate breakfast, had you on my mind and figured I’d write you a few lines. Bore you a little.
Had a very good breakfast - -fresh fried sunny side up eggs and pork sausage, cereal and cantaloupe. The breakfast I had at your house beat this though. I really could go for a breakfast like that. Bacon and eggs, cream and cereal. Good old official cream also, not canned milk like we have here. Enough about food. I guess I’ve said enough, always complaining.
What have you been doing in the past few days? I hope your trip to Ft. Worth was a good one. So far I’ve been in Bombay and the city is nothing like anything in Texas. All they seem to have is peddlers in the streets, trying to sell you something you don’t want and they usually sell it to you, too.
Last night I went to a show here on the field. It was an out door movie. It rained at the beginning but stopped later on. I saw “So’s Your Uncle” and part of “There’s Something about a Soldier.” About ¾ through the 2nd picture it started to rain cats and dogs. I was soaked to the skin.
How do you feel about me honey, still the same way? I hope you do. I’m nuts about you. I wish we get things ironed out between you and I soon. Say, you never told me if the flowers arrived the day of your graduation or late. They were scheduled to arrive the day you graduated at school.
I sent you a picture. Not very good, but I guess it will have to do till I can get a good one.
Remember when I met you at Fort Worth and started a conversation, I said I sure would like to have you for a sweet heart and then when I did write you a few letters and we got better acquainted I sorta hinted around for you to invite me over to your place. You finally gave in, and after I left I figured you were sorry you ever met me. The guys at camp ribbed me cause I traveled 300 miles to see you and I disappointed you. I was kinda down in the dumps. Then when I heard from you again just before shipping for overseas telling me you cared a little I was really happy and then I knew I had something to go for and come back for.
I’ll be waiting for that picture you promised to send me. If you have not sent it out hold onto it till I give you my newest address. I’ll write you as soon as I receive the candy.
My younger brother has been rejected by the Army because of a weak heart. The folks were kinda glad in one way but sad to hear he had a weak heart. (Raining again)
I guess I’ll close now but before I close I want to ask you one more question. When is your birthday?
Lovingly yours,
always
Ray
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