Me:
Reading Dad's letter below about New Year's Eve and him asking Mom, "Did you all get drunk?" had me laughing out loud! I can pretty much picture anything but I cannot picture my Mom drinking much less drunk!! That concept seems so foreign to me!
Then the part where he talks about how she did not enjoy his company, even though she never said it he could see it in her face. Oh my gosh that is so my Mom, she does not get outwardly excited really so it is hard to read her, hard to know where you stand if you do not know her very well. You figure things out as time goes on and you get to know her better. Understanding things like this about Mom are critical to surviving taking care of her at this time of her life when she cannot verbalize much. You learn how to read each of the slightest changes in her expression and each one is a different emotion. So for example, while your Mom greeted you when you came home for the weekend with outstretched arms, a big old smile and enthusiastic questions, my Mom met us at the door with the corners of her mouth turned up, her eyes a little wider and brighter, and in my heart I knew that she was as excited to see us as your Mom was to see you! It was the way she stood at the door and held it open, the way she had food ready for us, the way her face lit up from the inside out ... her greetings were the best! My Mom was not boisterous with her emotions or physical with her affection but once you know her well enough those slight changes in her expression are magical! It is those expressions that make my day to this day. Obviously my Dad figured them out and he was as smitten with her on the day he died as he was when he was writing these early letters.
Laverne:
The wedding takes place on February 23, 1946. I was born ten months later on December 20, 1946. I imagine Julius and Bessie insisted on a Catholic wedding and that, as is required by the Catholic Church, Ray and Grace agreed to raise all seven of their eventual children Catholic, which they did. It wasn’t a big wedding. Grace wore a new suit. And Stella’s land money must have arrived in time for her to come to Chicago bringing lots of shower gifts from friends and relatives in Texas. I’m sure there was a celebration dinner afterwards, with liquor and kielbasa. Even though Julius always offered whiskey to guests, I never saw anyone drunk. And growing up, mom and dad never drank. Except sometimes they served Mogen David wine at holiday dinners.
Dad's letters to Mom:
December 31, 1943
New Years Eve
Dear Grace,
I had you on my mind so I thought as long as I was thinking of you, I should be writing you. I do hope you don’t mind. I like you so I guess that is why you are on my mind. In a little while it will be New Years, and I won’t be celebrating it cause I took one of the fellow’s place as Charge of Quarters so as he could be home with his wife. I don’t mind cause I don’t drink and all there will be in town is a pile of drunks.
I couldn’t find anything on the radio so things here in the squadron are dead, not a thing is stirring. The whole squadron is practically in town. I’ll bet that town will be a shambles after those guys get finished with it.
I sure was sorry to get C.Q. today cause we were issued new passes and I was going in circles claiming the old passes and issuing new passes.
How did you celebrate your New Years Eve? Did you all get drunk?
I am going to try to come and see you next week. I hope nothing turns up that will keep me away from you. It seems to me like there is something always that comes up when I figure on coming to see you.
There has been nothing new happening here so I think I shall close until I hear from you.
In two minutes the New Year will be here. Here is my New Years Kiss. I’m sorry I can’t give you one personally, cause it sure would be a pleasure and all mine too.
Love Always,
Ray
PS I’m sorry if I act like a silly kid. It’s your fault that you’re so pretty.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jan. 15, 1944
Dear Grace,
I sure am sorry that I have not answered your letter sooner. I would have but I guess you know by now that I am not a very dependable guy.
I am so sorry that you did not enjoy my company and I sure am sorry I could have not set myself with you in high. I know you never said anything that you disliked my company but I could tell by the expression on your face that you were.
I really did have the swellest time ever, and I think it was awful nice of you to invite me to spend a week-end at your house. I think that you are the swellest girl that I know, and I really mean that. I hope you found your purse and are wearing those cp. Strips I gave you.
I sure had a rough trip from Fr. Worth to Chicago. I had to stand up all the way.
When I left your house I left at 10 a.m. and arrived in San Angelo at 7:30 in the evening. I hitched hiked all the way to San Angelo. It was 283 miles. I did not know it was so far to Matador from Angelo, cause I am not allowed to travel over 250 miles on 3 day passes.
I am enclosing a card I was going to send you but did not.
I have no more news so I guess I’ll be closing until I hear from you. Soon, I do hope.
Love
as ever
Ray
PS Give my regards to the swellest bunch of folks that you have. They sure were grand to me.
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