My Revelation

I am starting on a new schedule this week because I feel like to do what is important to me I need to get up early. So I get up before daylight to do my pilates, stuff around the house and then when the sun starts coming up I can get most of my watering done outside. When I finish that is when Mom gets up and we have breakfast and she can sit outside with me to finish the watering. It seems when this is the way my day starts the rest of the day just works.

I watched a National Geographic program about studies on baboons regarding stress and so this morning I had a revelation. What I am doing now with Mom does NOT cause me stress ... what causes me stress is everyone telling me how stressed I must be and what I need to do to avoid stress. Talking about stress causes stress! Is taking care of people in Mom's shape my calling? No, I do not think so but I do feel good when I care for Mom and I believe the best stress reliever is giving of yourself. I am not perfect though ... I do have moments where Mom frustrates me and I have to leave the room or redirect my attention. And I am cognizant of making sure I take care of me too. So I was thinking, my life has not changed that much with Mom here except to put more structure in it which I think is the way I function the best anyway. I have never been one to feel the need to go places or get out of the house. I have always been quite content puttering around my house, working on projects. Everybody says, oh you need to make sure you get out, hire respite care. And I am sitting there this AM trying to figure that into my new life and I realize why would I do that now when I never did go, go, go? Louis said the good thing about the new structure is we are more inclined to take advantage of our opportunities for date nights when the girls are here to sit with Mom instead of always putting it off.

And then I had another revelation, I do not think I have ever had real stress in my life for a long time because of my faith and it reminds me that I just do not know how people live happy lives without faith in God and a belief in Jesus. If I had to carry the weight of my life on my shoulders it would suck. It is so nice to be able to Let go and Let God. I believe that if I get up every day, put one foot in front of the other, work hard, do my best to do as Jesus would do, God will work everything out in a way that is best for me. I may not always understand His plan but I always believe He has a plan and it is a good one. So no I do not have stress because I believe God has me where He wants me and that is good enough for me.